Sugar is in the air

We were supposed to deliver this article several hours ago, but it was hard to decipher the text on the paper sheet that came through the comm device screen because it had melted sugar spots all over it.

Now all of us know how the “Burned Quack” donuts smell. And they smell good!

We hope our tech staff can figure out how to send messages to the other side so we can, at least, request Blebmony -or whoever is sending these articles- have a dozen of those donuts sent to us. We really want to try them out.

Female Blobmnastics

I had never seen such an exciting routine in all my years of experience as a sports commentator!

Unfortunately, the soaps were out of this competition.

The reason was that it would have been pretty messy to clean up the floor and the bars after each soap participant.

Yesterday, Blobettes, Negapatolettes, and Prettypatolingettes participated in the Blobmnastics competition, but the undisputed winner of the golden donut, Siduck Biles, spectacularly razed this competition!

After winning the golden donut, Siduck answered some questions from the press and confessed that something didn’t feel right during the floor and bar routine, which felt slippery.

Her words reached the ears of the directors, and they called the staff to check on the surveillance equipment.

They found out that the bars and the floor were all covered in soap!

A heartwarming happening

The security cameras shown that the night before the competition, the soaps team had entered the gym through the back door and used it as a playground until the morning!

As an apology for the inconvenience, Blobkin Donuts invited the gymnasts and their families to a near donut factory to eat all the donuts they wanted for free, and even enter the kitchen and create their own donuts!

The security doubled the guard after finding out that a masked blob had opened the backdoor of the gym to let the soaps in. This blob also had the audacity of leaving a note in the director’s office that said:

“My soaps were very sad after being banned from this competition, and, as a father, you must understand that I couldn’t leave them like that, so I hope that bringing them here to play for a while doesn’t bother you.

However, this won’t be the last time you hear from me if you dare to ban my soaps from another competition.

Your dear friend, the Soapman.”

This is the juiciest story we’ve written yet!

We can’t wait for the swimming competition to start and see what will happen if they don’t let the soaps compete!

Off tier stuff

• Years of college are starting to pay off for psychologists.
  
  Mental health wasn’t an issue in Blobosphere before the arrival of the Cariñopatos.
  
  When they arrived, many blobs started to experience anxiety due to the uncertainty of the future. The HBO (Healthy Blobs Organization) started a campaign inviting everyone to talk with the nearest psychologist to ease down and get some mental relief. It mildly worked.
  
  But now, with the end of the Blobympics coming closer, everyone is getting too anxious and starting to look for counselling to accept the end of the games and keep going with their lives afterward.
  
  I interviewed a few blob psychologists and they said they were really happy with the happening, and some of them were able to finally clear up their college loan debts.
  
  Even some blobs, with training by fellow patos, turned into spiritual counselors and got good income by helping those blobs that couldn’t get appointments with psychologists due to demand.
  
  

• Trending on Social media: good and bad messiahs.
  
  A Cariñopatos elite that believes in a sort of energy that binds everything in the universe took advantage of the situation explained above and offered help to unsuspecting blobs.
  
  Masters Ducki Wan Quackobi, Yoduck and the non-master Ducknakin Starquacker offered a press release explaining their offering.
  
  “We’re here just to enlighten the blobs that want to be in the light side of the quack. They can master their abilities, be one with the universe and get rid of the anger, hate and suffering caused by the upcoming ending of the Blobympics.”
  
  Most of us attending the talk though they were legitimate in their offering. Especially when they mentioned that yielders of “the dark side of the quack” were doing something similar, but not in good terms.
  
  “There are yielders of the dark side of the quack that will tell you the opposite of what we’re talking about. Be careful. They’re quite convincing.”
  
  Later on, Emperor Duckpatine and his apprentices, Duck Breather and Duck Maul, replied over BlobTube that Yoduck and his partners were just a bunch of weirdos that drank blue colored milk and turned candles on to «receive the light side of the quack».
  
  “You blobs are emotional. Let your emotions flow through you. Don’t listen to those pieces of ducktha poodoo.”
  
  So they started to fight.
  
  And their followers started to fight too.
  
  I can’t think of a better name for this fight other than “the duel of the fakes”.
  

This has been all for today’s #Blobympics records.

Reported by Blebmony Snicket.

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