Not everything in life goes as planned.

Sometimes, the universe puts its hands on your stuff and modifies the outcome. It may be because, in the great order of things, you’re pushed to go through a test to become a greater person.

Or it is a punishment for some wrongdoing.

Or it is just because the universe loves to slap you on the back of your head for its own amusement.

Something like that happened to us before starting with the Blobympic Games coverage.

This is the report of everything that happened behind the curtains.

We promised to tell all the truth about it, and now we deliver.

Before reading, please go grab a box of disposable tissues. This won’t be a happy reading.

Before the beginning

Some of our staff members were working as usual on defining content for our website. One day they worked too much and fell asleep over their desks.

When the lady that helps cleaning the office came the next morning, she woke them up, and they jumped off their seats and started shaking. When the rest of us arrived, they were relaxed, sipping on chamomile.

They said the three of them had the same dream: a voice in their heads told them that there was going to be an event in Blobosphere, and it was going to be massive. And that someone would come with everything needed to send humans to that planet and help out spreading the word of how bad things were there, and how good it would be to help the blobs win the war against the Cariñopatos.

Later that day, a guy came to the office and asked the receptionist to take him to her leaders.

In the meeting, he introduced himself as Fleck Mattenstein. He was an American TV showrunner, and had a dream in which a voice told him about us, and how good we were for finding an idea for a great show.

So, he found a showrunner, explained him everything, and they put hands to the matter, followed instructions from the voice in the dream and gathered a team of scientists to make the device that would send a team of actors to Blobosphere, film everything and present it back here as a killer show.

A few weeks ago, the travelling device was finished, and everything was ready for the show.

At that moment, we realized that all our base were belong to them.

The device was turned on, and it opened a wormhole. A huge capsule containing the four actors and their equipment was sent through it. Once it went through, we’ve had a power failure and lost tracking of the capsule.

A couple of days later, we finally received the first communication from Blobosphere, but we were surprised by a Blob named Blebmony Snicket using the equipment to send us his reports!

Comms on

Once we got a chance to make a voice call, we asked him about the humans that were in the machine that we sent, here’s what he told us:

My cousin and I were at our summer house’s balcony just chilling, until we saw a strange thing falling from the sky. It almost hit a flock of ducks on its way down, and they followed it. My cousin and I went to investigate. When we got to the spot where that thing fell, there was an empty capsule with a small computer among other electronics. We thought that my boss had sent it to us to record and report on the Blobympics.

I’ve worked for the New Blob’s Time magazine for a while now, and my boss has always been excentric about my equipment’s distribution. A few months ago, I had to make some reports about some candies that the Prettypatos were selling. My boss, Morty Blob, sent me a drone with a strange blue remote that turned out to be a microphone!

The point is: I didn’t know how to use half of the equipment that I found, and the keyboard wasn’t working. But I managed to type my first article in my small ticker tape printer, and I’d put it in a small slot in the computer, waiting for the computer to convert the text into a format that could be sent to office.

Later, I bought a fax machine and a typewriter. My cousin found a way to connect the fax to the computer, so I could fax my articles.

A couple of days ago, Blebmony’s cousin made the camera work, and we had a videoconference with Blebmony, and another Blob from the army, who had news about our humans.

Here’s what they told us:

Blebmony: I want to introduce you to Cmdr. Blob, an elite agent from the army that is fighting the Cariñopatos.

Cmdr. Blob: so, my friend here tells me that you’re the ones who sent that strange machine to our planet.

A few days ago, my agents reported to me that the Cariñopatos were experimenting with beings from another world. They told me that the experiments were initiated right before the Blobympics started, so I guess that we’ve found the team you’ve sent.

Don’t worry, my team will start a rescue mission in a few days to get them off of the Cariñopatos’ feathers.

We’ll give intel to Blebmony as things happen, so he forwards it to you.

You can rest assured that we’ll do everything in our hands to bring… eh… What were their names again?

Blebmony: Nicky, Ricky, Dicky and Dawn.

Cmdr. Blob: Right, those hoomanlings, back to you.

We’re on rescue mode

Everything is now in the hands of the blobs army. We can’t do anything from our side, just wait for news.

As Cmdr. Blob promised, Blebmony was going to communicate with us as soon as he got any news to report. We decided to keep them internal until the situation is sorted out and we have our team back on Earth.

So, in order to make it digestible, we’re going to make a new chapter in the Cariñoland’s storybook following all the events around the rescue. You’ll be able to experience every step of the adventure in first third person.

We promise to stick to events as they happened, and not use our imagination at all. So, don’t expect a sci-fi story coming out of it, but a genuine, realistic, down-to-facts documentary.

This will be the last entry on the Blobympic Games.

Thanks for reading it. We hope you enjoyed it.

Yours,

The PoliCromix staff.

PS: This isn’t a soap opera.